well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize