Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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