I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
