Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
