Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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