ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
