i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
