i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
