I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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