I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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