i don't like sucking hair
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
