They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
