I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
