Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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