this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
