i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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