you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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