From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
