Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
