wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
