Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
