Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
