Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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