You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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