Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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