I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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