Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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