he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
