your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
