I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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