I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
