just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
