At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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