walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
