I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
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