when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
