do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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