I heard we made out
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
