She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize