it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
