I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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