You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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