so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
