no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
