i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
