you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
