Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize