Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
