P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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