oh god the rape fog is back!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
